THE CONTINUING STORY OF RHUDDY THE GOOD

A Pagan Fairy Tale

By Albion the Hunter

Once upon a time in a Kingdom called Paganus in the land of Georgias, there lived a handsome prince named Rhuddy the Good. Now Rhuddy was from the house of Tilly Teg and Deni Mwyn, a very great family of witches, who had much power and owned stock in AT&T. And he was no slouch himself when it came to casting or catching magic spells. He had created one of the most successful Tribal Gatherings in the South East, and many Pagans attended each year.

But times had been hard for the family of Tilly Teg and Deni Mwyn and he was the only witch still living in the Kingdom of Paganus.

Rhuddy the Good was a very intelligent and articulate person as witches go, but he did have several unfortunate characteristics: he was disorganized and tended to believe people for no good reason.

One day in the White Castle, as Rhuddy was herbalizing, stirring his cauldron, and passing his wisdom on to those who were seeking truth, justice and the American Way, a wicked bitch, by the name of Etsy Bashby, who was hooking and crooking nearby and sexually abusing young girls, spied him. "Ah Ha!" she said, "a likely victim of my evil intentions. Since he is the only witch in Paganus, who has created a wonderful Tribal Gathering, if I can pass myself off as a witch and besmirch his good name, I can steal all his gathering Attendees, spread my evil philosophy far and wide, and rule the kingdom of Paganus. I will gain this kingdom for myself by Hook or Crook."

First, knowing that he was fond of Big Bazooms, she crafted two of them out of Silicon and attached them so they wouldn't fall off, although she did have trouble walking. Then, she found out that he knew almost everyone in the Pagan community, so she obtained credentials representing herself as a pagan of the first order.

Finally, knowing of his fondness for ballet,she used her magick to transform herself into an exotic dancer and gave him a call on the palace hotline. "Hi Prince Baby," she slyly crooned, "I am a poor little witch thing from the Kingdom of Virginia, who would really like to have a gathering of My Own and live happily ever after. But I need help, lots of help, in fact tons of help, because I know next to nothing and have these Big Bazooms that I have to Feed."

"Big Bazooms! You have big Bazooms?!!" he stammered, "I'll be right there! Ah...where are you?," he stammered. "Why you wonderful man you," she crooned, "I'm hooking...I mean ...I own this little slum building called the house of Darkness and I sell cats to stupid ..oops I mean needy pagans." she ended.

"The Goddess has answered my prayers!!! A ballet dancer with Big Bazooms!! My cup runneth over!!", he shouted.

He literally leaped over the palace wall and landed on his trusty steed, which of course carried him gently and softly to the House of Darkness. "Hm, this doesn't look like any magickal building I've ever seen," he said as looked at the building. "Maybe I have the wrong place."

But suddenly his eyes fell on a short squat ugly woman, and she had.......Big Bazooms!!

"Thank you Goddess. I just hope this is worth it," he said as he made his way through the foulest garbage he had ever smelled on his way into the sleaziest store he had ever seen.

Suddenly, his Spirit guardian Fred, who had been watching the unfolding events with some alarm, spoke up.  "Uh..Rhuddy, do you really think this is a good Idea? Have you given this any rational thought? I think we better do this some other time. She doesn't look like any pagan we've ever seen."

"But...But...But...SHE HAS BIG BAZOOMS!!," Rhuddy shouted as he pushed through the swinging doors.

"Oh no," said Fred. "He's lost his soul to Big Bazooms."

At first Rhuddy couldn't see anything. It was blacker than the Ace of Spades. Then as his eyes began to become accustomed to the dim smoky interior, he saw her!

"And here she is, direct from the armpit of the world, the ugly, dispicable, and somewhat gross ......Etsy Bashby!!", the announcer said.

He was stunned, he had never seen such Big Bazooms on any witch!

She began to dance. "Hmmm...that is a very strange pirouette and a stranger bow," he said, as he pulled someone's hand out of his pocket. "Maybe she is dancing a new tradition, because it certainly doesn't look like anything I've ever seen."

But he gave her the benefit of the doubt and watched her dance and listened to the music.

Later she came to sit beside him. "Rhuddy, I sure need help, I want to create a small little gathering ...here in Virginia land, and sell candles and incense and all manner of occult things."

"Why sure," he smiled. "I would be more than happy to help you. What do you need first?"

"Welllll.....I guess I would need some suckers ...I mean customers...I mean some attendees." "Of course," he said.  "That can be arranged, I have a few that I can spare."

"Then I need someway to reach them. Could you help me reach them?"

"Well I guess so," he frowned. "Aren't you going to do anything? What Pagan Tribe are you with anyway?" But she shook her Big Bazooms, and he lost track of what he was saying.  But of course her partner in crime and lover who was fronting her the money said she couldn't continue unless Etsy Did work too.

So she started a small gathering out of her outhouse called "The House of Darkness".. Over the next months, he found that the more he helped her, the more she needed help. And he discovered another curious thing, every time a someone visited her gathering, they were suddenly welcomed into her inner circle of hoods and Hookers and was told she had the only authentic Gathering.

He found out that she encouraged drugs and un-wiccan behavior at every turn. And she was lying and telling them that that Rhuddys Gathering was no longer in existince. But there was nothing he could do about it. Finally he decided to sever his connection with her. So one day when he was particularly disgusted with her encouragement of her male customers to work at Adult Mechanical Device And Manipulation stores, and her female customers to bury their face between her giant pillars, he called her up and said, "Etsy Bashby, even though you have Big Bazooms, I feel that I can no longer help you, you are not acting like a Witch or Pagan."

"Witch? WITCH? You need your ears cleaned out prince. I said BITCH!!  Pagan?!!  You fool, I worship Satanus and sacrifice young maidens to my cave of darkness.

Suddenly he saw the light for the first time. "You lied to me!!," he wailed. "So, what else is new," she sneered. "If it hadn't been me, it would have been some other Bitch. And no other Bitch but me will rule The Gatherings. Don't you understand? I am teaching BITCHCRAFT!! and there is no place for Love, Knowledge or Wisdom in my Kingdom." He turned white and immediately put a circle of protection around himself. "Told you so," muttered Fred.

He went back to the White Castle and tried to ignore her antics. But it was very hard. First she brought shame to the Paganism he loved. She taught the use of deviate sex to bring customers in, then she would control her customers by washing their brains with dirt and filth. She didn't even use soap!

But that was not the worst. She was arrested several times for Hooking and Crooking and sexual misconduct with minors. In fact, several young girls were even forcibly abused with her Hook and Crook.

But that wasn't the worst. She began to collect any and every lie that had ever been said about the Prince, and if they were not vile enough, she would add to them and embellish them as she spoke to seekers who were asking about The Gatherings.

"Prince Rhuddy? The Gathering in Georgia? Oh no, you don't want to associate with him. He will only want you for your Bazooms! In fact he will cast a spell upon you and you will lose your innocence, in a most terrible sexual manner. He uses young girls terribly."

But that wasn't the worst. Soon those same young women were beating down the doors, looking for a sexual thrill. "No! No!" he pleaded, "This isn't Paganism! Please Goddess, please make them stop."

But that wasn't the worst. He fell in love with a young maiden with beautiful Bazooms and had a passionate affair with her, but when Jealous Etsy Bashby saw this she growled, "He won't get away with this!" For she secretly desired him, (she was bi-sexual after all) and he had scorned her Bazooms.

So when the sweet young maiden parted from him, Etsy Bashby obtained a copy of a letter written by her purporting to claim that Ruddy the Good could not play chess very well and should stick to Poker. So she substituted a trashy letter in it's stead, which attempted to smear the Prince and ruin his good reputation. "I'll make sure no customer ever attends one of the Georgia Gatherings again," she fumed. "How dare he squeeze another's Bazooms!"

But that wasn't the worst. She found out that Rhuddy the Good and the staff of the Tilly Teg and Dyni Mwyn had a web page announcing The Gathering.. He had told all the local Pagans, "Any pagan group can attend our gathering and no merchant need pay us anything." But the sinister Etsy Bashby would have none of it. "I will drive him from this land, I want the money!!!" she said. So she created an elaborate web page devoted totally to lying about the Good Prince, to keep anyone from attending those Gatherings and to tell them all to only associate with Etsy Bashby of the House of Darkness. So all who were hoodwinked by the evil Etsy began to tell every customer they knew that they were making a terrible mistake and should instead visit the House of Darkness Gathering instead.

When Rhuddy the Good found out that Etsy Bashby was in fact lying and slandering the good name of Tilly Teg and Dyni Mwyn and was more foul than fair, he complained to her and told her she was smelling up the good name of Paganism.

But that wasn't the worst. Etsy Bashby began to travel far and wide spreading her filthy lies about the Prince until one day she met The Evil Golden Fairy of the Kingdom of Califor-i-A.   They were some of the vilest creatures known to humanity. They were in some ways worse than Etsy Bashby. They chewed Tabbacy, and Peed in the corner.

Now The Evil Golden Fairy also knew the prince since they had Lied about him more than once and Spread evil gossip about him too. "By my father in Hades", she said, "a kindred spirit."

So they both formed an evil alliance with Etsy Bashbys father Luey, and began to decide upon the best way to attack the prince. "Lets cut off his nuts and eat them raw," fumed Etsy Bashby.

"No...for goodness sakes no! I want him whole. He's such a lucious man," whimpered The Golden Fairy.

"Lets send all the deamons of hades after him," crowed Etsy Bashby.

"No, a thousand times no," insisted her father. "I need them to polish my shoes and give advice to all the Christian ministers."

Finally they agreed that The Evil Golden Fairy should plagerize the works of Tilly Teg and publish an elaborate lie on the Web. In this infamous web page, he would attack every Witch that had a good name, and then if any one asked about Prince Rhuddy the Good, the Author of all the Pagan Rituals that The Evil Golden Fairy was plagarizing, or any of the poor poor poor witches of the Kingdom of Chicagos or Californius or Virginius, then Etsy Bashby could tell them, "Hey do I look like the 5:00 o'clock news? Read the Web Page I created out of whole cloth, I mean recorded, I mean plagerized, I mean whatever! Hee, Hee, Hee, Hee."

But finally Prince Rhuddy the Good had had enough. One day as Etsy Bashby, and The Evil Golden Fairy were engaged in their favorite pastime of Hide the Salomi (in the Evil Golden Fairys case, hide the vienna sausage), Prince Rhuddy sent a terrible spell upon them. "I wish them upon themselves," he said. And they immediately turned into slimy little slugs who crawled into a bowl of beer and drowned.

There are several morals to this story:

"Beware a Bitch Bearing Bazooms (who also sexually abuses young girls)"

"Count your fingers after you've shaken hands with a Fari."

and "Don't Piss Off the Prince."

   The Ballad of Rhuddy the Good and Etsy Bashby - Part Two

   The Ballad of Rhuddy the Good and Etsy Bashby - Part Three

http://www.dynionmwyn.net/plagerize.html

then CLICK HERE TO VISIT OUR SITE!